walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
