It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
