just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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