"it" just moved
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
