Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Shame is for Republicans.
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