I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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