is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
