You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
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Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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