I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
