Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
