I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
