Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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