and she was petting her beer can
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
