I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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