Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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