beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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