I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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