I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
