Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
