This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
