That's intense
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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