Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
