like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
