i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You pole danced in your parka.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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