I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
