I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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