im drinking this country out of the recession.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
