Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
