no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
