its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
