quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
