you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
