Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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