The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
