Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Two words: nipple clamps
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