Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
