That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
