Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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