their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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