In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
