i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize