no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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