Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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