Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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