She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
