I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
