i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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