Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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