I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
