he wants to bone in the snuggie
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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