Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
