Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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