he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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