Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
