I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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