so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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