So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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