Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize