Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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