We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
