OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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