He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
